my first thought today was the possibility of my being a masochist.

are you affected by self-defeating personality disorder?
do you:

1. choose people and situations that lead to disappointment, failure, or mistreatment even when better options are clearly available
2. reject or render ineffective the attempts of others to help him or her
3. following positive personal events (e.g., new achievement), respond with depression, guilt, or a behavior that produces pain (e.g., an accident)
4. incite angry or rejecting responses from others and then feels hurt, defeated, or humiliated (e.g., makes fun of spouse in public, provoking an angry retort, then feels devastated)
5. reject opportunities for pleasure, or is reluctant to acknowledge enjoying himself or herself (despite having adequate social skills and the capacity for pleasure)
6. fail to accomplish tasks crucial to his or her personal objectives despite demonstrated ability to do so, e.g., helps fellow students write papers, but is unable to write his or her own
7. is uninterested in or rejects people who consistently treat him or her well, e.g., is unattracted to caring sexual partners
8. engage in excessive self-sacrifice that is unsolicited by the intended recipients of the sacrifice

I am developing more of an interest in personality and emotional disorders, and with the upcoming graduation I will have a lot more time on my hands to do some reading.. so if you have any suggestions, let me know. actually, let's make this a call for any good reads/music/blogs/events/cuisines/adult classes/hair braiding techniques/whateva.